BEAR INTERNAL LEAK REVEALS JUDO JACKIE'S PERSONAL PARANOIA! RAVING MAD BANKER POURS BILLIONS INTO FICTIONAL PLANETARY AILMENT. "THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR FOR GLOBAL WARMING, IT'S JUST A RIFF ON THE MADNESS OF KING GEORGE THAT WILL BECOME AN IMPORTANT SECONDARY ELEMENT THAT CONTRIBUTES TO JACKIE'S FEARS OF FAILURE," SAY TWO UNRELATED BYSTANDERS